Not sure what is up with my girls this morning.... everyone (including myself) is in tears!! Seems like nothing is going to be simple today. We have made it through two surgeries on two different girls this summer (Adyson with tubes and Audrey with tube removal and adenoids taken out) and Bobby's two wrestling trips... so, yes summer is still as hectic in this household as any other time of the year.
I try to remember that it isn't right to be jealous of others and what they have compared to what I have... but, this morning I am struggling to maintain that good christian attribute! I would love to have some of the luxuries that others seem to have.. i.e. vacations and days off from reality! I can't remember the last time that I had only one responsibility... taking care of myself and being in charge of only my happiness. I realize that this sounds extremely self-centered and selfish, but I would like a day every seven years to be selfish!
I'm not asking for pity or even an "I know how you feel" - I just felt like putting into words the emotions that seem to be taking over my morning. I know that my feelings of being overwhelmed is the most likely the problem with all my sweet peas this morning... they are feeding off of my tears and emotions... but, sometimes I just can't help myself :) So, another cup of coffee and maybe I will stare at the screen saver picture on the computer of the deserted beach!!!
Inner Beauty....
06 July 2012
A dear friend of mine gave me a book of 25 devotionals for women on Mother's day... each devotion is about "Reflecting the beauty of the Lord." One of my favorites is day 10 "The Finishing Touch- Love" the bible verse is 2 Peter 1:5-7 which reads "Make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perserverance, and to perserverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection, and to mutual affection, love. "
As I was reading this verse, and the devotion which followed, I began to think about teaching my girls the difference between outer and inner beauty. I decided it was never to early to explain to them the importance of loving themselves and others for what is on the inside and not focusing solely on how a person looks on the outside. This isn't an easy concept for a 4 year old, and a 3 year old! But, honestly, it isn't always an easy concept for a 30?? something year old either. I found myself feeling a little hypocritical trying to convey the concept of inner beauty when it is something that I struggle with daily. I look in the mirror and am critical of what I see- knowing full well that this is example that I am setting for my daughters.
What I want for my daughters to understand is that beauty is what you make it... beauty is in the eye of the beholder... beauty is not a possession, but a treasure. I look around and see so much focus on the outer beauty, but nobody is addressing how ugly the behavior or the attitude is. I'm concerned that my daughters will try and find themselves in their outer beauty and not focus on the beautiful qualities they have- the beautiful qualities that I see and love.
In thinking of my girls, I see that Alivia has such a beautiful heart and spirit. She already has this love for God that amazes me and pushes me to be a better person and her passion for Christ brings me closer to him. Alivia loves everyone- whether she knows them or not and cares for others in a way that makes them feel loved and special. Audrey has this wit and charm that makes everyone around her smile. She radiates happiness and on days that I am at my lowest, her smile can light my darkest mood. Adyson is just simply love. She already knows that her head on my shoulder just makes me melt. She snuggles and smiles at just the right time... making you feel like your the only person in the world.
I know that as they grow older, life is going to be tough... I remember how hard it was and often times still is to navigate through life. I wish that I could save them from all the heartaches that I know they will encounter... I'm already dreading the drama that comes from just being a girl!! My prayer is that they stay true to themselves and to the vaules and principle's we have taught them. I pray that when they hit a rough spot, the turn to the Lord and to Bobby and I... and I pray that God gives me the right words to say to soothe their troubled hearts.
Faith, Grace, and Hope
As I was reading this verse, and the devotion which followed, I began to think about teaching my girls the difference between outer and inner beauty. I decided it was never to early to explain to them the importance of loving themselves and others for what is on the inside and not focusing solely on how a person looks on the outside. This isn't an easy concept for a 4 year old, and a 3 year old! But, honestly, it isn't always an easy concept for a 30?? something year old either. I found myself feeling a little hypocritical trying to convey the concept of inner beauty when it is something that I struggle with daily. I look in the mirror and am critical of what I see- knowing full well that this is example that I am setting for my daughters.
What I want for my daughters to understand is that beauty is what you make it... beauty is in the eye of the beholder... beauty is not a possession, but a treasure. I look around and see so much focus on the outer beauty, but nobody is addressing how ugly the behavior or the attitude is. I'm concerned that my daughters will try and find themselves in their outer beauty and not focus on the beautiful qualities they have- the beautiful qualities that I see and love.
In thinking of my girls, I see that Alivia has such a beautiful heart and spirit. She already has this love for God that amazes me and pushes me to be a better person and her passion for Christ brings me closer to him. Alivia loves everyone- whether she knows them or not and cares for others in a way that makes them feel loved and special. Audrey has this wit and charm that makes everyone around her smile. She radiates happiness and on days that I am at my lowest, her smile can light my darkest mood. Adyson is just simply love. She already knows that her head on my shoulder just makes me melt. She snuggles and smiles at just the right time... making you feel like your the only person in the world.
I know that as they grow older, life is going to be tough... I remember how hard it was and often times still is to navigate through life. I wish that I could save them from all the heartaches that I know they will encounter... I'm already dreading the drama that comes from just being a girl!! My prayer is that they stay true to themselves and to the vaules and principle's we have taught them. I pray that when they hit a rough spot, the turn to the Lord and to Bobby and I... and I pray that God gives me the right words to say to soothe their troubled hearts.
Faith, Grace, and Hope
Sleeping Beauty
24 June 2012
I am sitting here listening to my sweet Adyson cry in her crib... working really hard at not jumping up and rescuing the poor little abandoned baby girl... working really hard at keeping my own tears at bay! I am attempting to begin the process of her sleeping in her own bed for more than thirty minutes at time... attempting is the operative word.
I have never been the best at the "crying themselves to sleep" theory nor have I been the best at teaching them to self soothe... yes, this could be the reason that I am 0 for 3 when it comes to good sleepers! Bobby and I have said that our lack of sleep is really our fault... we have not taught our girls that it is a good thing to crawl into bed and get a good nights sleep - this is almost amusing because Bobby and I LOVE to sleep... we LOVE sleep... we adore sleep... we are so very PRO SLEEP! I said almost... not so amusing when my eyes are blood shot from the 400 plus nights of being woke up every hour on the hour!
So, how is it that we cannot bear to listen to our girls cry in their crib for even a few minutes before we are jumping up and running into their room? I say "their" room like Adyson's crib isn't pushed right up against our own bed where I can reach for her the minute she starts to whimper during the night.
I realize that this is really my own fear of abandonment... my own fear of letting go of my "babies"... my own insecurities of them not being right next to me all the time. I haven't always been such a worry wort ... well, that isn't entirely accurate! Yes, I have always worried, but not to the extent that I worry over my girls and their well-being and happiness. I find myself going into their rooms and just staring at them -hoping, wishing, and praying that they are healthy, happy, and content. I want for them to find peace in their lives... true honest peace that comes from just being okay with who they are. I'm not sure that I have ever found that... maybe that is the root of the problem!
There... the crying has stopped...for now... my sweet angel has fallen back to sleep...quiet and peaceful....
I have never been the best at the "crying themselves to sleep" theory nor have I been the best at teaching them to self soothe... yes, this could be the reason that I am 0 for 3 when it comes to good sleepers! Bobby and I have said that our lack of sleep is really our fault... we have not taught our girls that it is a good thing to crawl into bed and get a good nights sleep - this is almost amusing because Bobby and I LOVE to sleep... we LOVE sleep... we adore sleep... we are so very PRO SLEEP! I said almost... not so amusing when my eyes are blood shot from the 400 plus nights of being woke up every hour on the hour!
So, how is it that we cannot bear to listen to our girls cry in their crib for even a few minutes before we are jumping up and running into their room? I say "their" room like Adyson's crib isn't pushed right up against our own bed where I can reach for her the minute she starts to whimper during the night.
I realize that this is really my own fear of abandonment... my own fear of letting go of my "babies"... my own insecurities of them not being right next to me all the time. I haven't always been such a worry wort ... well, that isn't entirely accurate! Yes, I have always worried, but not to the extent that I worry over my girls and their well-being and happiness. I find myself going into their rooms and just staring at them -hoping, wishing, and praying that they are healthy, happy, and content. I want for them to find peace in their lives... true honest peace that comes from just being okay with who they are. I'm not sure that I have ever found that... maybe that is the root of the problem!
There... the crying has stopped...for now... my sweet angel has fallen back to sleep...quiet and peaceful....
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